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Tuesday, 8 October 2024

The Swap-Cation - Part One

The darkened world around me lurches as a set of distant wheels catch a dip in the road, the cool liquid around me sloshing in the tight container as I'm forced against the walls of my minuscule confines. I can feel my heart race inside me, the pounding muscle hammering the limited blood through my heavily redacted body.

Arms, legs, even my head an mouth had to be shaved away in the clinic's massive foreboding machines to be sent to a 'storage' body. All that remained was a pale jiggling cube of flesh housing my brain and my heart, a thick slime forming over my skin as the added trait of 'breathing through one's skin' borrowed from a now likely dead frog kicked into gear.

It had to be this way though, at least that's what I had been told as they had explained the procedure. Transportation was an expensive overhead, and for the sake of immersion they didn't want anybody to know just where we would be going.

"Total immersion" the Swap Clinic representative had explained. "It's one of the selling points of a Swap-Cation."


The Swap Clinic had been known primarily as a market of physical and mental traits for as long as it had been in existence, a place where two people could agree to trade a part of themselves either in exchange for other traits or for cold hard cash. However, while the market remained relatively steady, even growing organically during certain fads, the marketing team at the Swap Clinic knew they needed to find more areas for the business to conquer.

With the slow collapse of the profitability of short term rentals, the raise in holiday spending, and the lingering pop culture effects of the resurgence of role playing games an idea was formed and hastily implemented. Land was purchased, buildings were cobbled together in a matter of weeks, and traits were purchased from the market and horded in the minimum wage 'storage' staff of the clinic.

With much fanfare the first set of Swap-Cation packages were announced, a series of live action role playing experiences touting almost perfect immersion into the temporary world. Parcels of land were fenced off and monitored, preventing access from the outside world as well as keeping the guests in. Those who purchased a package would be carted on site and twisted into a new shape, their body being flooded with traits to build out their 'character' for the holiday before being set loose in their little slice of an imaginary world.

Who exactly people became was largely left up to chance, the worry being that people would otherwise avoid the 'lesser' characters in favor of trying to book those considered more desirable and hurting the overall experience for everyone. "Who would want to be a tavern wench when they could book into being the queen with a six month wait?" the Swap-Cation team had unanimously thought, "And if people need to come back multiple times to get their favorite character so be it."

Each of the packages would play through a narrative, with 'quests' or 'tasks' being given where needed to prompt vacationers into action if needed while embedded staff could also tilt the story wherever it needed to go.

Before long the offering expanded more and more, growing ever more diverse and niche in their offerings in order to make the best use of the various patches of land and buildings the Swap Clinic were constantly acquiring.


Wedding at Ravencroft Manor

After purchasing an old and heavily rundown country estate, one of the first offerings from Swap-Cations was that centered around those lovers of Jane Austin and Period Dramas. Wedding at Ravencroft Manor followed the Ravencrofts in the lead up to their eldest daughter's wedding to the wealthy and charming Mr Wiles.

From the mother of the bride organizing the help and the maids keeping the home clean and proper for the various guests, to the bride-to-be and her maiden-in-waiting anxiously awaiting the big day while her rebellious younger sister eagerly entertains other suitors, this wedding will be one to remember.

The Most Anticipated Party

Taking place in the rolling hills of 'The Hamlet', the Halflings of the hastily constructed town of farms and burrows are all waiting on baited breath for the hundred and twelfth birthday of one of the Hamlet's most esteemed residents. Goods are baked, beer and wine are brewed, and wonderful gifts of all kind are worked on by the short and jolly twee residents of the pastoral town.

From the mayor working hard to get the party planning over to the finish line and the pretty young bar maid serving drinks to the various laborers, to the happy housewives working to one up each others baked goods and gardeners hoping they'll have the largest and best vegetables, everybody is eagerly awaiting the party of the century.

Home on the Range

Sometimes all you need is a little quiet time, going back to basics as you return back to the land. After purchasing a largely defunct and unprofitable farm, this largely narrative-less package was brought into being. Following the married young farmers, Mr and Mrs Winslow, the lucky two are largely tasked with tending to their farm and their animals as best they can.

To assist however, many of the animals around the farm are the rest of the vacation guests. Taking the role of lead animals, these less lucky few are typically tasked with getting the various live stock where they need to be. From cows and sheep needing to be milked and shewn to the horses and dogs helping the Winslow's in their day to day tasks, the time on the farm is to be a largely refreshing one.

Tales of Copper-Ridge Tavern

Many of the Swap-Cation team remembered either meeting up around certain spaces in MMORPGs, or had at least heard the stories of how these places gave rise to impromptu role playing. Following the acquisition of an old bed and breakfast deep inside a densely packed forest the whole place was refurbished, the bed and breakfast as well as the limited surrounding grounds in the clearing being turned into 'The Copper-Ridge Tavern' and a hub for local heroes and adventurers.

A true fantasy LARP, players take the role of adventurers (and sometimes the staff at the tavern) in various high fantasy trappings. From elves and dwarfs to men and beastkin, those lucky enough to be adventurers would find themselves taking part in quests and activities befitting swordsmen and sorcerers.

Those Were The Days

People remember the past fondly, at least the nostalgic and picture perfect past that lives only in old television shows and advertisements of the era. After purchasing an old film set, turned to makeshift town of Graceville, a more real offering was presented by Swap-Cations.

Transporting the holiday goers back to the 1950's, or at least an idealized version of the 1950's, those involved would soon find themselves living a perfect little slice of the American dream. From housewives baking pies in the window and getting their kids ready to school to stern school mistresses trying to get the odd rebellious teen to be more like her perfect pupil, Graceville truly is the place to be.

Perfect Prom

Like how people were nostalgic about the distant past, some were nostalgic about something far more personal. After buying out the shell of an old bordering school, the Swap-Cation team realized they had the opportunity to recreate the heady hormones and erupting emotions of the lead up to the biggest event at school.

Prom.

Vacationers would find themselves tackling the lives of various stereotypes around the school grounds. From the head mistress trying to keep order and the teachers chaperoning the event to the various students struggling with the sheer anticipation of the big night, Westhaven College's prom is only a few sleeps away.

Halls of the Jarlsmen

Wrapped in ice and snow, nestled up in the mountains where an old ski resort had been wiped away by a devastating avalanche, the halls of Jarl Borig were built with limited modern amenities. The Nordic inspired feasting hall and surrounding homes are fashioned with hidden and sadly limited insulation, leaving the shivering vacationers to warm up in other ways.

From laying with other men and women home from the summer raids, to drinking in the feasting halls and partying around the looted wine barrels, the seemingly endless party to celebrate a successful raiding season will make those attending glad they won't be stuck with the mother of all hangovers.

The Workplace

With the crash of the office real estate market and the continued dominance of a similarly named sitcom on streaming platforms, the Swap-Cation team moved quickly to snap up as many offices around the world as they could. With a series of quick modifications, converting several floors into the 'homes' of the various staff members, the workplace of Crag & Horton was born.

From taking the role of the bookish yet pretty admin girl or the hot young receptionist to the soft and warm middle aged bookkeeper and the stern domineering regional manager, the vacationers would soon find themselves falling into the constant strangeness and love-triangles that arise when working and living so close together.

Swap-Cation Summer Camp

Following the 'nostalgia' range of Swap-Cation experiences, the team quickly sought to find something more to build on the trend. With the purchase of an old lakeside camp ground that was literally falling and a hasty set of renovations, the Swap-Cation Summer Camp was born.

From hiking through the nearby mountains to canoeing across the vast lake to arts and dance, the vacationers taking the role of the teens around the camp and the camp counselors in their twenties all get to enjoy some summertime fun.

Elves Amongst the Elms

As more land around the 'Tavern' opened up for sale, the Swap-Cation team quickly snapped it up without much of a thought on how to use it. The extensive tracks of land couldn't really be used for traditional construction, the heavy inclines and densely packed trees making homes or even hovels impossible to do on a budget, so the team looked up into the branches. More tribal than the other fantasy offering, the Wood Elves of the Greenroots live amongst the treetops in small treehouses connected by simple ropes.

From the priestess of the great elm performing her carnal rituals to the chief and his wife planning the full moon feat or the hunters seeking deer and rabbits for dinner or the domesticated harpies laying eggs back home, the vacationers could expect to get back to nature in a strange way with a trip to the woods.

Island Incognito

Following the odd success of their first foray into a very low-tech holiday, the Swap-Cation team quickly looked for other opportunities to offer a more grounded yet similar experience. Biting the bullet, the team quickly snapped up small set of two tiny islands in the pacific as they rapidly moved to develop one while beginning holidays on the other. The People had lived on their island paradise as long as their oral tradition could remember, having been gifted the land and the pale gold sand beneath their feet by the moon at the beginning of the world.

Life amongst The People was rather simple, from weaving and fishing to looking after the children or carrying their own to planning for the upcoming giving away of the chief's daughter. The vacationers would soon find themselves baking in the seaside sun and living a chance at the simple life.

Rags and Riches

On the other island the team quickly set out building one of their most lavish offerings, a rather lavish yet still reasonably sized hotel that no one could ever make a real booking at. The Grandview operates as a hideaway for the wealthy and powerful, or at least the tagline says so, the guests in the hotel standing in stark contrast to the poverty stricken staff that wait on the guests hand and foot.

Vacationers would slip into one of two types of roles, either being one of the fabulously wealthy guests or being made to work as essentially slave labor for the duration of their holiday with some time to relax and unwind after their daily shifts. The Rags to Riches package was high risk and high reward, with many people being more than happy to roll the dice

Knights and Knaves

Purchasing and old and collapsing castle was not the difficult part, more so the purchasing of the surrounding land and building the various hovels and farms made for the lionshare of the challenge in setting up this package. Cries for a more grounded fantasy or medieval experience had caused the Swap-Cation team to delve deep into Eastern Europe, setting up a 'slightly cleaner' middle ages holiday for those eager to live in the shadow of serfdom.

While a few lucky vacation goers would get to live in the lap of middle aged luxury as the King and Queen along with their children, the living conditions rapidly went downhill from their. From knights living in the barracks to farming families living in their hovels or the local 'serving girls' living in their place of work, the striking difference left many with more than enough tales to tell once back home.

High Noon 

Cheaper to acquire than most of their other offerings, the Swap-Cation team were easily able to win the bid to purchase an old mining town turned to pathetically poor tourist attraction. It barely needed anything to get it set up, the old mannequins being moved out and the 'homes' being made to at least be livable with only a rare scorpion or two making it inside. Tombstone was a thriving hub at the very frontier of America and a hive for those eager to get into the gold rush.

Vacationers would take various roles around town, from the mayor and the lawman working to keep order to the tavern and gambling parlor owner eager to make a quick buck or even the madam of the local house of ill-repute and her painted ladies to the meek and humble school mistress or some farmers sweet little homemaker.

 

I had been gifted a package as a late birthday present, the fact I had left my twenties not being lost on whoever had sent me the gift card in the mail. I'd barely believed it was real, knowing just how expensive these packages could be.

The card had come with a little note along with instruction on how it was to be used, the card less so giving me credit towards a holiday and more so allowing me to claim a pre-booked package so long a I went to the Swap Clinic in time to be checked in.

"Saw This. Thought of You"

Without much going on in my life, and the thought of the expense that had gone into the gift, I had quickly went to the Swap Clinic to cash in my gift without any real thought into who could have sent me such a gift. Thankfully, the local Clinic was more than capable at cashing in the little voucher, the woman beaming at me as she scanned the card with a little beep.

"Thank you for coming in early... Mr Hughes" the caramel skinned young woman had chirped from behind the counter. "We always have issues with people checking in right before the deadline. We can get you sorted now if you want? Next thing you know you'll be off enjoying...


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