Twisted Testing - Part Four

Letting out a sigh of relief I ease back into the seat, my feet kicking in the air absentmindedly as I sink deeper and deeper into the plush and well worn cushions. Through the pounding in my skull I try to think about my next steps, my gaze shifting down the my shrunken body before returning to my phone as I bring up my banking app.

With a quick confirmation of the new deposit I turn off the screen, my shoulders rolling a little as I test and enjoy the freshly reformed joints.

"Okay... first things first... I'm going to need some clothes that actually fit... this..." I grumble, looking down at my drastically shrunken yet remarkably curvy and overtly feminine body.

Sitting up I groan a little, feeling the heavy weight on my chest sag as my skin is pulled taut by the soft flabby mounds. Using my left arm I let the head sized rack rest on the delicate and slender limb, finding a pleasant relief as I slowly glance around the room in search of something to wear.

Wracking my brain I struggle to really think of anything that would really fit me, my thoughts turning momentarily to my sweaters before I let out a little sigh. "I'll just wear the stupid shirt..." I grumble, standing up and feeling the air ruff up between my legs and against my exposed mound.

Shuddering at the sensation, my heart pounding at the thought of going outside without pants let alone underwear I quickly shake the thought from my head.

"It'll be quick... really quick..." I huff, snatching up my keys and my wallet as I stumble over to the front door.  

'Borrowed' Body - Part Five

Inching in I quickly walk over to the bed, my petite form dropping to the overly soft squishy mattress with a thud as I spill a few drops of wine on the pillow case.

I can't help but groan at the sight of the slowly growing stain, my head craning up as I take a few more gulps of the wine. "I'm so fuckin' stupid..." I groan, glaring for a moment at the glass as though it could just be the wines fault.

With one hand clutching the glass I begin to unzip the jacket, revealing white v-necked top and the generous cleavage beneath the white padded jacket. "Bitch sure has a style..." I grumble, reaching down as I begin to move to unbuckle and peel the skin tight jeans off of me.

"Though... like... it does look super cute..."

As the jeans slide down my slender yet soft thighs, the denim and elsatine blend relaxing as it glides over my soft supple thighs and down past my calves. I give my legs a wiggle, shaking them as I kick the pants off as I'm left staring down past a perky shelf of lightly tan flesh to a set of cute white panties adorned with a tiny pink bow.

I'm forced to muffle a squeal as I spot the cutesy underwear, my dainty feet kicking excitedly as I revel in just how adorable they are. Reaching up to my top I quickly begin to shimmy out of the thing, wriggling my shoulders as I yank the white cotton shirt over my head before partially blinding myself in a cascade of platinum blonde hair.

Twisted Testing - Part Three

"Okay..." I mutter, sealing the bottle before placing it in the back of a draw for safe keeping. "... That's done... now..." I weakly croak, my voice catching as I grab the identical container in all but label that had come along in the package.

Rattling the bottle a bit I feel the large pill jostle and shake around, another confirmation that there was only a single pill inside. Swallowing hard I pop the cap, holding out my hand as I shake the pill out.

Watching as the contents roll out I find myself staring at the Pink Pill, my pulse spiking as I realize womanhood is in my future. My stomach quickly begins to twist itself into knots, a sinking feeling soon follows as I squeeze my thighs around the flaccid organ resting between them.

"God damn it..." I huff, taking a long exhale in an effort to calm myself down. "I mean... I knew what I was going into..." I mutter, putting the empty bottle back down before shuffling off towards the living room.

"... But this is still..." I sigh, dropping into my well-loved and threadbare green sofa with a thud. "... Going to be weird..."

Twisted Testing - Part Two

Slumping forward I slowly crane my neck back up, my eyes falling on the grinning visage of the woman on the screen.

"I guess... when do we start?' I ask, the woman quickly responding with a giddy clap.

"Today!" she chirps, her whole body leaning forward as she begins to type and click at her computer. "I will have one of our couriers come to your apartment in the next hour or two.. Oh this is so exciting! Thank you Mr Hughes, I promise you won't regret this. Let me just..."

"Okay but what are you sending me?" I grumble, my lips pursed as I feel my stomach begin to sink.

"Oh... right..." the woman remarks, her eyes going wide as she realizes that she had just completely skipped over that part. "I was thinking we would get you to try X-Change Co-Ed, a pill designed to give you the body of an eighteen to twenty-two year old."

With a few more taps at the keyboard and a click of her mouse the woman beams a grin from ear to ear. Moments later my phone begins to buzz, rattling its way across the coffee tab briefly as it tries to alert me to a message.

"Done" the woman coos, her hazel eyes returning to look my way as I lean over to read the message on my dimming phone.

'Your Order 'IT-0001785" is on its way'

'Borrowed' Body - Part Three

With one final slurp I feel my senses slip away, an all consuming darkness flooding over me as I'm left floating in a void with only my howling grunting thoughts to keep me company and to let me know I'm alive. Pain shudders through my ethereal skull as I feel things begin to click back into place, my disjointed thoughts finally managing to grasp a coherent sentence.

"Fuuuuuck, oh my gawd what the fuck is even happening?" I think, my mind reeling as I listen to my thought rattle in my head with a dim vapid lilt. "What the... that is NOT how I fucking sound! I sound like a..." I shout in my head, the world snapping back as I find myself once again in a humming metal chamber.

"...fucking bitch..." Madi huffs under her breath, her gaze locked to the computer as she doesn't seem to register I had come to. After another few moments she looks up, her deep brown eyes darting between the two pods before hissing. "Okay, done. Now where's my money?" 

I sway back and forth in the metal chamber, blonde hair dangling back and forth into my field of view as my soft pouty lips part and my eyes stare ahead dimly. My head pounds, the warping of the gray matter inside my shrunken skull leaving me struggling to even string together a decent thought.

"Warm..." I manage to think to myself, the thick warm parka around me and the fuzzy boots on my sweaty feet at least working to fight back the chill. My hearing is slightly muffled by the heavy hood extending up over the jacket, the white jacket and fake fur around it framing my view of the auburn haired girl.

"So... about that..." my normal voice calls out with a deep chuckle, the sound of it coming from the other side of the room sending a shiver up my spine. "You do know that you could lose your job for this right? Maybe even wind up in prison? New deal, how about we don't turn you in and you stop harping on about money."

'Borrowed' Body - Part Two

I stop listening as she pushes the door open, my eyes squinting as they adjust to the light of the backroom. While the overhead lights remain in their dimmed state no small amount of white and blue illuminate the room, the bevy of screens on and working make me wonder just how many people are meant to be assisting this girl when she is working normally.

I swallow hard as I stare at the looming machine at the back of the room, the two metal cylinders designed for in-person swaps sitting with a cascade of cable sheaths running between them and up into the ceiling.

Looking from the empty pod on the left, the small bare stool barely visible in the din of the room, I slowly turn to the shadowy figure in the pod on the right. I fight for a weak smile as I stare at Stephanie, the dim and bubbly twenty-one year old blonde who lives in the apartment above my own.

Making it with the Medallion - Part Six

"Okay... okay..." I pant, taking a series of deep breaths as I get the car started. "Step one, I need to get out of here. This girl was a cheerleader, at least in college so... somewhere without a local college I guess..."

As I carefully reverse out of the parking lot I strain to get a sense of the steering wheel, my dainty fingers fumbling with the thick plastic ring as I'm forced to relearn to drive or at least how the damn thing handles with this new body.

"... Donovan Ranges were always nice this time of year..." I muse, nibbling my lip as I slowly pull out into the quiet suburban street before mentally mapping out the quickest way to the highway. "Small towns... plenty of people coming and going for hikes and camping and..." I continue, biting down hard as I squeeze my thighs together and relish the sensation of athleticism and fitness that I had lacked for over a decade at this point.

"... and I suppose I could enjoy the exercise too" I laugh, my voice coming out in a cutesy giggle as I finally get onto a main road and on the way out of the city as a whole.

Making it with the Medallion - Part Five

With a deep breath I begin to eye up the clothes on the floor, my heart hammering in my chest and ringing in my ears as I try to plan out my next steps.

"Okay... tough choice..." I huff, biting down firmly on the inside of my cheek as I try to piece together my thoughts. "I still have the car... for now..." I muse, realizing just how much I would be losing in this exchange. "No ID... no education... going to the bank is going to be..." I continue, patting at my pocket as I think about how managing things was going to be far harder than before.

A smile slowly forms on my lips as I squeeze my wallet, my mind turning to the cash scattered through the boxes in my back seat.

"I guess that cash is going into the mattress for a bit" I giggle, bouncing a little in excitement as I feel my heaving bust and plump rear jiggle along with the movement. "Though I guess $250,000 is more of a mattress in an of itself..."

Running my tongue across my plump lips I glance over the clothes scattered around the room, my gaze drifting to my own oversized outfit as I slowly begin to formulate my plan.

"Well..." I mutter, reaching for the stretchy set of shorts that made up part of a cheer uniform. As I grab the medallion for a brief moment I feel my whole body shudder as a static buzz crawls across my skin. "... This should have some options" I wheeze, my voice pitching up from what was once rich and full to a soft bubbly coo.

Making it with the Medallion - Part Four

"Okay..." I mutter, taking a mental note as I lean in to the mirror and look over my delicate lightly tan face. "Tall young woman... at least I could use some of my clothes I guess..." I muse, reaching over to the medallion as I grab it along with another item of clothing with baited breath.

"But what else..." I continue, my heart racing as the static charge rapidly shoots up my arm. "... Could I be..." 

As my grab the medallion I reach over to a bundle of stretch elastic beige fabric, the breathable material brushing against my long and delicate fingers. In an instant I feel my skin begin to burn, the light tan growing more and more pronounced by the second as the pale streaks on my shoulder rapidly vanish while the paleness below my waist heightens to a ghostly level.

My hips pop loudly, the pelvis rapidly flaring out as the waist band of my sweat pants stretch and side up and over the growing mass in my lower body. I can practically hear my thighs and ass gargle as soft squish fat pools into them, the taut skin fighting to contain the juicy flab and hold it in a delightfully plump and perky state.

As I hold up my t-shirt I watch as the defined abdominals vanish into a slim tan belly, my waist soon cinching in tightly as the air is forced from my lungs. My chest bubbles and grows, the fatty mounds growing more prominent as they push out at the dyed blue cotton before sagging just ever so slightly.

 I watch as the once delicate and slight youthful face in the mirror rounds out slightly, her cheeks growing more full and flushing as my eyes shift to a muddled hazel and grow to a delightful doe-like stare. My lips plump up, the pink cushions growing soft and enticing while the dark shoulder length hair curls slightly as it shifts to an auburn hue and rapidly descends down to my lower back.

Making it with the Medallion - Part Three

As I carefully navigate the narrow city streets I turn my mind to the plan once again, my options having been narrowed down slightly after having completed my spur of the moment heist.

I simply wasn't going to be able to return to the apartment, not even temporarily to borrow someone else's life for a bit. I couldn't risk it, not with what I had just done. With my thoughts turning back to what I had done I quickly snatch up the medallion and grab the purse, tossing the black bag from the car as I turn down a side street as I clutch the medallion to my sagging chest.

"Okay..." I croak, wincing as I listen to the raspy feminine voice slip from my thin dry lips. "I need a better body than..." I mutter, shuddering s I glance down at my elderly form for but a moment. "... This"

Pulling the car over I quickly take my phone from my pocket, my withered delicate fingers tapping loudly and slowly at the screen as I begin to look something up.

"I'm going to need to find a decent thrift store nearby. I mean between the city, airport and the university nearby there are plenty of people ditching old clothes that can work as a new body"

Re-Role - Part Three

As darkness consumes my vision I'm left floating for a moment in a complete sense of warmth, the lack of any tactile sensations around me leaving me with only the dull and comforting heat subsuming my whole being.

Sadly, even that delightful comfort ends as the world returns in a vibrant crash of color and sound. The air is knocked from my lungs and my eyes burn with a horrible pain as the sudden shift in light leaves me momentarily blinded and dazzled.

It takes a second before I can even make out the noise around me, my mind rapidly piecing together the various stimuli before focusing in on the least offensive one first. I focus, my mind sluggish from the onslaught of sensation as I finally manage to make sense of the noise bearing down on me.

"Welcome, to Manga-Kon 2012" a voice booms over a nearby speaker "Please keep your badge visible at all times"

Changing Clothes - Part Five

With another yank I'm tugged forward, the goth girl quickly nudging the now oversized shoes towards me as I stumble into them. Clothes from the pile scatter across my floor as I'm pulled and yanked towards the door and the corridor beyond.

"Come on..." Gracie huffs, her hand release my arm before grabbing my own sweaty palm. "I am not starting my shift late again..."

As I'm dragged out the door I manage to grab A handful of the strange sealed clothing, my fingers finding purchase on various bulging packages. My fingers dig into several of the pink plastic bags, the fabric inside each yielding as I tighten my grip around them.

One after another tumble from my grasp, my stomach sinking as the sight of the packages bouncing off the hardwood floor before I quickly bring the remaining three packages to my heavily sagging chest as I clutch the packages as tightly as I can.

The sound of jingling keys ring in my ear as Gracie snatches my apartment keys from a small hook by the door, the goth pausing for a moment as she glances down at the shoes on the floor.

"Come on!" she snaps, kicking one of the sneakers as it bounces off my foot. "Do I have to do everything for you?"

Changing Clothes - Part Four

"Oh my..." I wheeze, my voice coming out in a sweet yet husky croak as I feel my chin wiggle slightly. With each wheezing breath I feel my chest rise and fall, the mammoth weights rubbing uncomfortably inside the woolen sweater with each clawing gasp. My belly and waist fare little better, the deep inhalations causing me to feel the pile of flab stretching the skin around my abdomen and hips.

Fidgeting with the sweater I soon find the hem hanging around my mid-thigh, the oversized sweater seemingly acting as a sort of cozy 'while-at-home' dress. Titling my head slightly, a cascade of light brown extremely blurry strands falling into my field of view, I spot the glasses on the sofa and worse yet the large and wide panties resting on the floor.

My head spins, my heart racing at an uncomfortable rate as I part my plump lips. My soft rounded cheeks burn hot with a sense of embarrassment as I lay splayed on the floor, the sensation only growing worse as I feel my thick thighs press against each other with the usual obstruction between my legs failing to make any sort of appearance.

Flailing slightly in the clothing pile I try to get a grip on this new body, my mind racing with dozens of trains of thought all at once as I try to work out what I should do. 

Suddenly, I am broken from my desperate and panicked thoughts as Gracie barges her way into the room with a frustrated scowl across her face.

Swap Clinic: Change of Scenery - Part Six

My stomach sinks as I find the GPS guiding me out beyond the suburbs, houses soon growing further and further apart as dense trees and the beach begin to flank the road. Mansions and holiday homes sit interspersed with tiny shacks, the last hold outs against the mounting gentrification of the island's fringes.

As even these houses grow even more spread out I'm soon told to take a harsh turn off the main road and onto a dirt path, the whole car lurching with the grinding of metal as I take the right-angle a little too fast for the failing vehicles liking.

The dirt road wraps around behind a curtain of palms, the line of trees blocking the wire fence and the small studio cabins behind it from sight. Standing on concrete blocks, the various cabins look like they were intended for short terms visitors, though despite this it seems that Ms Akana had lived here prior to our swap.

My lips quiver as I slowly pull up beside one of the newly built robin's egg blue shacks, my breath growing short as I stare at my new home in shock before bringing the car to a stop.

"This is..." I murmur, sighing to myself as the engine splutters and grinds to a stop. "... Tiny..."

Reaching up I run my light brown hands through my dark sweaty hair, pulling it back and behind my shoulders as I shift awkwardly in my seat. My apartment had been cozy as a generous description but this... this place looked downright cramped.

"She'd better live alone..." I grumble, forcing the rusted door open with my shoulder before flinging myself out of the cabin and onto the gravel coated ground beneath.

Swap Clinic: Change of Scenery - Part Five

For a second I feel like I'm seeing double, the rather plain and simple Swap Clinic around me flickering with the image of one that felt far more lavish. The unspooling of my brain finally runs it's course as I feel the last of myself slide out of my skull with a wet plop, the long single strand of thoughts and experiences soon landing rather haphazardly inside someplace else.

My eyes struggle to focus, the warm dribble running down my chin feeling as though it was different than mere moments ago. A soft voice calls out to me from the haze, my throbbing head making it hard to focus on just who it was coming from.

"How are you feeling Ms Akana?"

The soft and gentle tones reverberate inside my head, the name Akana causing a faint twinge of recognition somewhere deep inside the squishy mass I could feel myself pouring into. I barely manage to gurgle out a response before slumping forward, my body landing with a thud into a set of grasping hands.

My view of the world is shrouded by a curtain of long dark hair, the curtain of frizzy strands smelling of sea salt and lightly of artificial coconut. My dimmed vision snaps to my nose as I feel myself slow get dragged forward, the slight hazy sight of the light brown bridge leaving me going cross eyed in an attempt to get a better look.

As the door to the room opens, the young woman holding me up huffing with the effort of juggling my limp body as she shoves the door, I let out a pained groan. The sound of the hinges rings horridly in my ears and skull, a terrible throbbing and burning sensation filling my head as I feel more and more of myself shift and settle into place.

"My... head..." I whine, my drool filled mouth spluttering out the scant few words in a hoarse yet delicate voice. Demure and almost sickly sweet, the sound feels all too foreign to me as I linger on the sound for far too long.

"You have..." the soft-spoken woman huffs quietly, her words pausing between deep breaths. "... A far... less experienced... brain..." she explains, forcing another door open with her body as I'm met with the sound of soft piano music.

With a sudden surge I feel myself almost begin thrown onto a rather plush sofa, my whole body sinking into it as I collapse limply into the cushions.

"Please..." the soft voice pants, obviously a little out of breath. "Please just rest for a moment, we can dis... discharge you in an hour or so..."

Swap Clinic: Change of Scenery - Part Four

I let out a huff, reaching over to my coffee before draining the cold milking beverage away as I heave myself back up into a seated position. With phone in hand I lurch up from my seat, walking back to the kitchen with my mug in order to make yet one more coffee as I mull over my answers.

"Gotta really think this over..." I sigh, my thumb flicking across the screen as I send the Swap Clinic app lunging between profiles. "This could be... for quite a long time..."

As the water boils one last time I look between the pictures, my lips pursing as I stare at Stephanie for a while before closing out of the profile. She was cute and seemed to have a fine enough life, but did I really want to be a young woman in my mid-twenties just getting by with a part-time job at some discount store in the country? Probably not.

"One down..." I mutter under my breath, spooning out some more instant coffee as I fumble with getting all of it into the mug.

If Stephanie was out, then I suppose that Astrid was out as well. While a year younger than the grungy girl with strawberry blonde hair the short bottom heavy brunette had the similar problem, approaching her mid-twenties and just only recently getting a job at some small town bakery. Was there a future there? Maybe, but with so many other options she simply fell short in my head.

My lips purse as I close out of Lucy's profile, the young busty nurse simply having too stressful a job for me to even consider taking over her for. I had wanted a change of pace and something a little more quiet and simple, the idea of being in-charge of the health and well being of vulnerable people simply being too much for me.

This simply left Kiara and Adrianna, two very different women who seemed eager to slip into my life while dumping me into theirs. Both were so very different, the towering willowy blonde looking after the old family farm and living off of her wealthy parent's estate or the fit and beautiful island girl working to serve those from the blonde's tax bracket. While the wealth difference was a bit staggering there were other consideration.

"I've never lived near the beach..." I mutter under my breath, my gaze lingering on the young woman with light brown skin as she stands in the pristine sand. "Only nineteen... plenty of time to test things out and organize another swap if I..." continue, my lips twisting into a bit of a smirk.

Re:Reality Reversal - Part Four

"Here..." the man huffs, obviously eager for his break. "Your new ID will be sent to your home in the next few..."

My eyes go wide as he brings up home, my hands patting at my pockets for a moment before finding a slightly bulging phone case resting against my thigh. Pulling it out I breath a sigh of relief, my gaze falling to the see-through sparkly yellow shell wrapping around the device as a single key and a set of credit cards sit beneath.

"Wait..." I mutter, looking at the one solitary key. "Where's my car keys?"

"Oh..." the man blurts out, his eyes going wide. "Did we... not empty your pock..." he continues, sighing into his mask as he cuts himself off. "We at Reality Reversal apologize for the loss of any goods or items" he states dryly, as if reading a script from memory. "Any items left on your person are unfortunately lost, please send the invoice for their replacement to our customer service team for..." he continues, groaning as he leans against the desk.

"You get the gist right?" he asks, rubbing at his eyes. "You're good to go otherwise..." he sighs, looking at me as I stare at him in no small amount of shock and confusion.

"Thank you for visiting today..." he continues a little forcefully, his gaze darting to the door. "Have a nice day..."

Re:Reality Reversal - Part Three

The man sighs as I feel the inching and squirming sensation grind to a halt, my body locked up around me like a prison. He leans back in his seat, the man bringing his hand up to rub the bridge of his nose as he closes his eyes over and over forcefully in an effort to relieve some tension.

"Okay..." he sighs, arching his back before leaning over to adjust the screen once again. "Now that we have you all nice and ready... it seems we can get a clearer image" he explains, rotating the screen part way back before fiddling with the mouse.

I watch as the little window expands, what had once been a tiny screen of low frame rate static blowing up to fill the whole monitor despite its original terrible boxy aspect ratio.

"I'm sure you'll be seeing her a lot more in the mirror..." the man chuckles lightly, looking at the video himself before looking back at me. "But here, why don't you take a look at the new you you'll be bringing home."

As the man turns the screen back around I find my eyes locking to the image of a curvy young woman in her early twenties with plush plump lips and a massive bust, her long nailed hand clutching a set of bright pastel pink workout gear as she nibbles her bottom lip eagerly

Reality Reversal - Part Two

As I take an awkward seat on the metal stool I feel a series of light static shock prickle at my fingers, the stored energy being strong enough to even zap at my legs and ass through my loose pale blue jeans. The doctor's shoulder slump as he squeezes the bridge of his nose, kneading the tan skin as he tries to ease out some tension.

"Sorry... sorry, no need to hear our workplace prob..." he sighs, his gave darting to an empty coffee mug before sighing once more. "Alright, let's go over these results..." he mutters tiredly, reaching up as he begins to turn the screen towards me.

The screen is largely filled with writing beyond my understanding, various test results from the blood sample I had given weeks ago that meant practically nothing to me. A bit of movement catches my eyes, a small window in the top right of the screen showing fairly low frame rate footage as if from a security camera.

"Don't worry about most of that, your iron levels are fine and all the usual metrics are well within the healthy range. What matters for your purposes is that you appear to be more suitable to send you over there to a new body and life, hope you said your goodbyes before coming today."

The man chuckles to himself as I stare at the screen intently, my gaze falling on the image of a slender and busty young woman in her late teens with messy hair and braces, the young woman blushing intensely as she fidgets next to the equally awkward young man beside her in the cinema.

Gender-Flu Season - Part Five

"Let me guess..." my mom huffs, the eye-roll being self evident in her tone. "You didn't do the one job I gave you." she continues, her grumbling sending a shiver down my spine.

"I... I'm still..." I blabber, freezing up as a wave of light brown hair tumbles down in front of my face.

"Sure sure..." my mother mutters dismissively, the door creaking as she pulls back form leaning against it. "You could have at least given me some idea of what I need to look for. I mean, I thought you would be a least a little more mature this time aro..."

"Looking for... what?" I ask, cutting her short as I flop onto my side and simply lay there. My hips pop as I lay on my right side, the wide childbearing pelvis causing me to shift my waist and legs to try and make myself more comfortable. My hand continues it's exploration, a soft gasp escaping my lips as I feel my fingers reach the lopsided and sweaty mounds pooling out from my chest.

"Your uniform, did you even read my note?" she responds, sighing a little as she takes a breath. "I can't believe I'm having to organize your clothes again... at least it's for a daughter this time rather than..."

"Why do I need... a... a..." I blubber, my breath growing short as I reach up to let my fingers sink into the large and sensitive flabby bust and take my small yet painfully hard nipple into my palm.

"A uniform?" my mother responds, scoffing a little. "Well I certainly haven't seen you trying to sell off that little viral gift of yours to anybody. You always lacked initiative, so I decided to help my daughter a little more this time. "So of course you need a uniform, after I went to all the effort to enroll you in Atheron High."

I writhe a little on the floor, my head swimming with the kneading of my newly engorged chest as I feel a gnawing twinge between my legs. My left hands slowly reaches down, my fingers quivering as they glide across a remarkably flat and smooth stomach before reaching a mess of coarse pubic hair below.

"I... Why would you..." I whimper and whine, my panting breath coming out in a mixture of confused panic and arousal as I paw at my needy body.

"Well I was talking with Zoe... Mayor Lonsdale..." my mother states, sounding almost giddy as she brings up the head of the town's political elite. "... And I may have said my daughter was coming to stay... and one thing led to another and..."