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I let out a huff, reaching over to my coffee before draining the cold milking beverage away as I heave myself back up into a seated positio...

Sunday, 30 October 2022

The Life Note - Part Six

As the movie starts I begin to focus on the introduction while I try to remember the plot from all those years ago, only to have my focus broken as Chelsea drops into my beanbag, with Sarah landing in my lap as Chelsea pulls a blanket over us.

I let out a harsh huffing exhale as the tiny brunette lands in my lap, her whole body weight crashing into me. Despite her size it still knocks the wind out of me, my weak and rake-like physique bit being able to resist and endure the force all too well.

"Sorry..." Sarah meekly mewls, wriggling in my lap a little as she gets comfortable. Her behind is rather firm and pert, nothing like the thick cushions I had to squeeze into my jeans. My face is filled with wet brown hair for a moment, the tiny girl quickly shifting to rest her head in my shoulder as she places her hair behind us.

"Already inseparable huh?" Chelsea chuckles, shuffling in the beanbag after having been knocked away by Sarah's sudden impact. Her voice sounds a little shaky, like her confidence had been rattled by something. Quickly seeking to get back into the movie she pulls her heavy blankets over the three of us, wriggling colder as she wraps an arm around my shoulder.

From the corner of my eye I watch as Paul pauses mid-step, freezing up as if he had planned to jump in too but now couldn't. He looks a little in shock at the pile of young women all sharing the same beanbag, though his eyes remain on me most of all. As he catches my gaze he quickly begins to move again, pulling his phone out as he sits closer by the door.

I feel some daft pang in my heart as he turns away, something inside me being upset despite my lovely position sandwiched between Sarah and Chelsea.


I didn't have much time to linger in the strange feeling, the bellowing , if slightly out of tune, singing of Chelsea soon snapping me back to the activity at hand. It doesn't take me long to join in too, my eyes going wide as I hear my sweet meek voice turn to the crisp perfect pitch of a practiced singer. While Sarah looks up at me with an awestruck expression Chelsea gives a different one, a linger gaze I could only describe as hunger or desire as I chirp out the tune like the Disney Princess on screen.

"I didn't know you could sing" Chelsea whispers, sliding in close to my ear as the songs die down for a while.

"I learned it in high school" I respond, biting my tongue as I realize that may not be entirely accurate at this point. Though why wouldn't it be? My life didn't seem all that dissimilar up until this point, why would my singing be any different?

"Oh yeah? For how long?" Chelsea asks, her breath in my neck as she practically nibbles at my ear. I know she's into me, at least from a purely mental level, though strangely my body doesn't seem to react all that much beyond a vague sense of nervousness building in my gut.

"Ummm..." I mutter, shifting a little as I feel myself trying to put even a few inches of distance between myself and the source of my discomfort. "Around four years? Probably closer to five really."

"Amazing" coos Sarah, her eyes wide and practically sparkling as she looks up at me. "I always wanted to sing... but I never really... Well..." She blathers, blushing and staring down at herself as she fails to find the right words.

"Stage fright?" Chelsea asks, taking a break from her advances to question her new friend. Sarah simply nods on return a little whimper of agreement escaping her lips.

I wrap my arms around her, her face practically glowing as I pull her in for a reassuring hug. Her head rests on my shoulder, her face nuzzling my slender sensitive neck gently as she relishes the affection. Her hands begin to move beneath the blanket, her own delicate digits using their hidden state to tentative explore my slender self, yet for me it just feels...normal if not a little awkward, like I was trying to comfort a friend while she put the moves on me.

My mind races, reeling as I try to pinpoint what is wrong with me. Here I was, surrounded by attractive young women as they made not so subtle advances yet I felt nothing if not downright awkward in the interaction.

"What the fuck is wrong...with...me..." I think to myself, the thoughts on my head slowing as I watch Paul stand to open the door. For a second I can't help but hope he is coming up to sit with me, my heart fluttering with girlish delight at the thought.

Instead he merely opens the door, allowing in some more students he must have invited after being left out if the cuddle pile.

I watch as three new people wander in through the doorway, some waving at me and the girls while most just as little smirks.

First is a rather tall young Korean man, dressed in a simple black t-shirt that hangs from his slender frame and a pair of black sweatpants. His black hair shimmers slightly as he passes in front of the projector, the gell required to make it stick up in little spikes catching and retracting the light.

Next comes a young woman who appeared perhaps a year or two older than us, something about her less awkward and nervous bearing giving away that she had seen this all before. Her short blonde pixie cut looks a little messy and dirty, likely having not been washed along with her tanned skin. A loose and light dress hangs from her somewhat muscular shoulders, a swirling pattern of earthy tones draped over her athletic build and displaying her narrow hips and rather impressive chest. She is just a little shorter than Paul and myself, probably being only 5'7" without any shoes on her dainty albeit rough-looking feet. She carries a backpack, the clinking of bottles within giving away the need to hide them as she climbs up the stairs.

Lastly a tiny young woman, about the same size as Sarah and with similarly modest assets, bounces in excitedly. She quickly gives Paula hug before turning and seeing us, her olive-toned face grinning with delight at the cuddle pile I was stuck under. The Middle Eastern girl bounds up the steps, practically leaping to race past the older tanned girl as she rushes towards us. She is dressed in a pair of rather warm-looking pink sweatpants and an old but well-loved cream-colored t-shirt.

Before any of us can say a word she dives for the beanbag next to us, her dark brown chin-length hair flying about in a mess as she bounces her and her new seat next to ours.

"Girls niiiiight" she cries, a slight hint of a Turkish accent in her voice as she shimmies under the blanket. "I mean...day...and the boys are here but... You know what I mean, it's so exciting! My parents would have never let me do this. Well maybe with some of the other girls of parents they knew, but not with boys here...and...and..." She blurts out, panting for air as she fumbles in continuing her sentence.

"Calm down Bel" Chelsea chuckles, looking over at the overexcited young woman. "Have you met Jordyn and Sarah? I'm not sure if you.." she begins to ask, the hyperactive girl next to us quickly cutting her off rather than waiting for her to finish.

"No, I mean not yet! I'm Sibeli, but you can call me Bel. Which one is Jordyn and which one is Sarah? Oh you look sooooo similar are you sisters? Oh I love love love your glasses, both of you, if I needed glasses I would want a pair like those" she blurts out, freezing up for a moment before her eyes go wide. "Oh, was that rude to say. I'm really really sorry, I didn't mean to draw attention to your glasses...Not that there's anything wrong with glasses, I just...just..." She stammers, erupting into an awkward flurry of apologies and nervous fidgeting.

"It's alright" both Sarah and I say at the same time, causing me and Chelsea to laugh while the tiny brunette shys away into my shoulder and the blanket.

"Glad you like them, I'm Jordyn" I say, looking down at both my arms as they're awkwardly stuck under my beanbag buddies. "Uh...pleasure to meet you Bel."

"Likewise!" She giddily chirps, getting over her bout of awkwardness in a flash unlike the ball of brown hair clinging to me. Her almond eyes dart past me to look up at someone else, a grin forming on her lips as her gaze roams over the person. "I love your dress, it's so coooooool. I'm Bel, short for Sibeli" she coos, an expectant look spreading across her face.

"I heard" chuckles a more mellow and earthy voice, a slight hint of sarcasm in her tone. Looking over I watch as the blonde woman drops herself into a beanbag about halfway down the row, her toned legs spreading in a rather undignified fashion.

As I watch her rummage through the bag, pulling out cheap bottle after cheap bottle of liquor, I eye up her tattoos. They rest largely on her upper arms and shoulders, all manner of mystical looking symbols and references from the sun to tarot cards being painted on her skin.

Bel stirs slightly, as if holding something in while the blonde unpacks her bag. Suddenly, it is like she can't hold back anymore as her words erupt in a violent squeaking. "And what's your name?!" Bel squeals excitedly, causing the blonde to grimace.

"Quartz" she says flatly, nodding to Chelsea who looks back with a little bit of infatuation in her eyes. Bel just looks a little confused, barely stopping to think before speaking.

"But that's the name of a type of rock right?" She asks, her face dropping as she realizes what she just said. "Oh my god I'm so so sorry, I didn't mean to.."

"It's 'kay" Quartz says as she pours a small about of green liquid into a red cup. "It can be two names, I can share" she chuckles, passing the cup over to Chelsea who eagerly takes it up as she giggles along.

I feel as Chelsea pulls slightly away from me, clutching at the drink with both hands as she wriggles closer to Quartz while remaining on the beanbag. The soft and slightly doughy Mediterranean girl sips at the drink, her eyes going wide as she squeals before spitting it back into the cup. "I t'ought it t'was Midori" she whines spluttering to get the burning liquor off her tongue.

"Nope" chirps Quartz, rooting around in her bag for something a little lighter. "Absinthe."

"The Green Fairy" I chuckle, gently rubbing Chelsea's back as she gags at the harsh alcohol.

"Yeah" drones Quartz, giving me a little side-eye. "Who's the bookworm?" She asks, looking at Chelsea.

"That's Jordyn, be nice" Chelsea mutters, placing her head in my arm. "Be nice."

Quartz just rolls her eyes, pouring more drinks for everyone as people get comfortable and find seats.


Paul and the Korean guy sit at the far end, a few steps down from the girls pile as they chat about games and largely ignored the move. Quartz too seems to ignore the move, as well as anyone else besides Chelsea while begrudgingly pouring drinks for everyone.

Bel giddily belts out the songs of the movies, Sarah shyly joining her as she finds her more outgoing reflection in the young Turkish woman. I however am left to largely stew in my own thoughts.

"Why the hell am I straight? Literally last night I would have killed to be in this position but..." I think to myself, my face growing pale as it suddenly begins to make some semblance of sense. I had been straight, and I still was in one way or another.

My eyes drift to Paul, my stomach filling with butterflies once again as I feel my body being overcome with awkward girlish attraction. Despite my older male mind I had the body of some love-struck girl in her late teens, my hormones pumping and begging me to do all manner of embarrassing things for attention and affection.

As I look down at Paul I notice Quartz roll her eyes at me. She pours a tall drink of green liquid before passing to Chelsea, nodding her head towards me as she urges the young woman to pass it on. I'm forced to wriggle an arm free, allowing myself to clutch the cup while Chelsea inches closer to the tattoo-clad woman.

The scent of the liquor is pungent, the tall cup smelling of licorice and regrets. I tentatively sip at the drink, my eyes watering as the vapors burn at me. I almost gag as the drink hits my tongue, the butterflies in my stomach dying off as I feel like I'm going to vomit. In the corner of my eye I watch as Quartz smirks, enjoying the show as I struggle with the liquor.

I eventually manage to swallow down a mouthful, feeling it burn down my throat and come to rest in my sickly stomach.

"Did I do something to her or something? Is she just...a bitch?" I ponder, looking over at Quartz as she smiles back at me with a cruel glint in her moss green eyes.

Suddenly it hits me, a way to check things out or at least to make them better. "That damned little book, maybe it can explain some of this shit" I think to myself, squirming slightly in my seat. "Um...Sarah?" I ask, interrupting her and Bel's singing.

"Yeah!?" she chirps excitedly, looking up at me with her dull gray eyes practically sparkling as she looks up at me. "Oh..." she murmurs, feeling me shift beneath her. "Just let me..." she mutters, sliding from my lap with a little bit of a dejected look on her face.

"I just need to go get my phone" I chuckle, playing with her mass of hair in an effort to lighten her mood.

"More like she's going to go get something more her speed" Quartz mutters, smirking at me. "Maybe some water with a splash of vodka cruiser?" she chuckles, nudging Chelsea who looks a little torn.

Glaring back at her I lift the red cup to my lips, shuddering as I quickly down the whole cup without breaking eye contact. I feel like I'm going to be sick, either the moment I open my mouth or in the next few minutes as my stomach churns almost painfully in my gut. Deciding not to risk it I just raise my bushy eyebrows at her, the tattooed woman looking back at me in surprise.

"Fuck, you didn't need to..." she mutters, taken aback by the stupid act. "Didn't think a good little girl like you could hold your drink, though...I guess that remains to be seen" she says with a grin, watching as my pale face turns a little green from nausea.

As I walk towards the door I hear someone get up from behind, a large hand soon placing itself on my shoulder.

"You gonna be okay?" Paul whispers, gritting his teeth.

"I'm...fine" I manage to choke out, hiccuping a little as the strong spirit begs to come back up.

The young man quickly downs his own drink before throwing the empty cup back up to Chelsea and Quartz. "I'll have what she's having, just let me grab an energy drink first" he chuckles, walking out the door with me.

He gives me a look of concern, my face burning as my body reacts to his care and closeness against my will. "Fuck!" I think to myself, looking up at him as I smile stupidly back at him. "I'm smitten, I'm smitten with some stupid fucking guy."

"You sure you're..." he begins to ask, a simple nod from me telling him what he needed to know. "Alright, I'm gonna grab myself a drink. You want one?" he asks, eliciting another giddy smile and a nod from me before he begins to leave for his own room.

"Thanks" I manage to croak out, my voice shifting higher than usual as I talk to the target of my body's affections.


I race back to my room as fast as my long slender legs can carry me. The sickness in my stomach only gets worse by the minute, the sloshing green liquor leaving me feeling light-headed before it had even hit my system proper.

As I race into the dorm, pounding the carpet to rush down to my room, I try to think of what to ask or say to make the diary do what I wanted.

Bursting in through the door I partially strip the bed, snatching out the little black book as I pull it open.



26/02/2022


Dear Diary


Today has been so wild.

I didn't wake up in my dorm today! It's not what you think though ;P

I fell asleep with Sarah in the tv place I guess, we are totally going to be 'the twins' aren't we?

Paul and Chelsea brought us food which was so fucking nice of them. Paul also remembered that I love energy drink and brought me a can, I think he likes me <3 Chelsea seems pretty cool too, super cuddly which is waaaaaaaay different than what I'm used to but I love it.

I just finished up with my shower and am about to head over to the 'cinema room', I hope it's nice.

OMG so the moment I got there Sarah and Chelsea were ALL OVER ME! It was kinda weird though, I know last night we kinda made out but I don't think I'm...'That way'

There were other people there too

Bel seems super sweet, if kinda loud.

Quartz was so...urgh! I don't know what's wrong with her! Why is Chelsea not backing me up? I guess we only just met but... I dunno... Showed her though, I can drink that stuff!

I just got back to my room and I'm not sure if I'm going back...



As I read the still incomplete entry I can't help but feel sorry for Jordyn, the poor girl seeming to have a rough time only on her second day of college. My eyes drift to the console-riddled desk, my gaze falling onto the stationary that came with the room.

Walking over I snatch up the nearby pen, my light-headed and flustered state leaving me barely considering what I was doing as I rewrote the entry so that...

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