Gender-Flu Season - Part Two

The door slams shut before the young woman can finish her sentence, her tiny figure quickly running past with her arms outstretched in front of her as if merely touching my car had left the gloves coated in whatever I was infected with.

"Thanks..." I croak, rolling my eyes as I undo my seat belt and spin around to look into the back seat. My bones creak and joints pop as I slump halfway between the two sections of my old sedan, a low groan escaping my lips as I ease down onto my elbow before grabbing the package.

Thankfully, testing for the Gender-Flu was remarkably simple. Pulling the two boxes out I grab the slender plastic trays from within, one for the disease itself and another for variants, before fishing around in the boxes for the 'mixing' tube. Hacking up a cough I spit into one of the tube, my dry and foul tasting mouth struggling to make the same deposit into the second without another round of chest rattling coughs. Capping each I shake them weakly, my wrist crackling and cracking painfully as I try to mix the tubes properly.

With a thankful sigh I pour each tube into the collection section of the tray, the lack of a dropper of any other fiddly attachment making me relieved as I clamber into the back seat to have a lay down. Shivering and shaking I slowly move to read the results, my heart skipping a beat as I read the test aloud.

"Regression... positive..." I wheeze painfully, my ribs cracking and my lungs popping like bubble wrap as I exhale deeply. My groggy mind reels at the thought, the whole thing being a struggle to piece together through the haze in my head.

My skin crawls as I worm my way back into the drivers seat, a pool of sweat being left in the back seat where my arm lay. As my head flops back into the headrest a splattering of sweat coated hair slaps against my forehead, the strands already seemingly slightly longer.

"FuUu..." I begin to groan, the sound my voice pitching up and breaking as though I was undergoing puberty causing me to slam my mouth shut. Despite it all I can't muster to strength to be angry, the almost painful draining sensation wracking my body leaving me lingering in a constant malaise.

Gender-Flu Season - Part One

My fingers grip the steering wheel of my car as I slowly creep through the packed shopping center parking lot. My knuckles practically glow white as I squeeze the supple plastic in front of me, the grip only easing as I wipe the sweat from my brow before it can drip into my eyes.

The world is a constant mild haze, my head swimming and my vision waning as I crawl the car ahead towards an empty space. My breath is ragged, each gasp leaving my throat raspy and sore as my mouth fills with the strange taste of iron and fat. Every inch of my body seems to shiver and twitch, from my bones to my muscles and even my skin I feel completely off and downright drained.

Pulling into the parking lot I spot a tiny young woman standing by the doors ahead of me, the diminutive minimum wage employee wearing a long set of rubber gloves and a mask beneath a cumbersome plastic face shield. In her shaking hands she holds a large paper bag, the two boxes inside bouncing against one another as she struggles to fight back her nerves.

As my car rolls to a stop the tony blonde races towards my car, sweat forming on her tanned forehead as she sprints past my door before opening the one to the back seat. In one swift motion she practically flings the package into the back seat, her voice quivering weakly as she goes to slam the door shut.

"Your order sir, one Gender-Flu test and one for vari..."